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Top Quotes

#1870 Up↑ +71/81 Down↓ [Report] 2011-05-01 04:12 EDT

// Reading a book about spanish culture
Student: This book is so overdramatic. I'm just waiting for someone to drop down to his knees and yell ¡¿POR QUÉ?!

Tags: ap.english garfinkel
#1590 Up↑ +71/81 Down↓ [Report] 2010-12-22 22:00 EST

// Mr. Weil is eating a cookie.
Mr. Weil: So guys, we've been together for over 3 months now I think? Well I've gotten to know you all a lot better and now I think it's time you know something about me.
// dramatic pause
Mr. Weil: I have a cookie.

Tags: cookie creative.non-fiction weil
#1265 Up↑ +71/81 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-12 22:27 EDT

// Ms. Garcia, boasting about Barack Obama
Ms. Garcia: I think he set a world record. He spoke for more than 200 hours in one day.

Tags: garcia
#1655 Up↑ +71/81 Down↓ [Report] 2011-01-25 00:10 EST

// Mr. Barbin is calling names for attendance in Phys Ed
Barbin: Charizod!
Everyone in the class wonders: Charizard?
Kid: Ummm... My name's Shahriar...
Barbin: That's what I said.

Tags: barbin gym names phys.ed
#1918 Up↑ +59/67 Down↓ [Report] 2011-05-16 12:25 EDT

Student: Why are there so many variables?
Dr. Chen: Why we need variable?!...WHY WE NEED MATHEMATICS?!
Student: What's the answer?
Dr. Chen: *looks at board* No answer! Is theory!
Student: No, I mean why we need mathematics?
Dr. Chen: AFTER ALL THIS YEAR HIGH SCHOOL YOU STILL HAVE THIS KIND OF QUESTION?
Student: Why are we here on Earth?
Dr. Chen: ...THIS IS A VERY GOOD QUESTION.

Tags: chen differential.equations life
#132 Up↑ +106/122 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-13 18:58 EDT

*Girl walks in halfway through class to get something*
Girl: I'm sorry, that's my scarf.
Polazzo: I'm sorry it's your scarf too, but it's not that bad looking. Hey, next time you should just leave it there, I could use a new scarf.
Girl: ...
Girl: Goodbye.
Polazzo: She won't be forgetting that scarf again.

Tags: ap.gov polazzo
#1516 Up↑ +47/53 Down↓ [Report] 2010-11-16 21:30 EST

// The warning has rung and the class isn't done with a certain problem
Mr. Ku: You gotta be fast, like wild turkeys.

Notes: It was nearing Thanksgiving, I guess he was hungry.
[mod note] Max. ground speed: 25 mph, max. flight speed: 55 mph

Tags: food ku precalculus
#1022 Up↑ +47/53 Down↓ [Report] 2010-02-07 00:56 EST

Palestinian student walks in wearing green tshirt on St. Patrick's Day
Student: Happy St. Patrick's Day, Ms. Lorenzo!
Ms. Lorenzo: There are no such thing as Palestinian leprechauns.
*silence*

Tags: french lorenzo
#86 Up↑ +94/108 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-26 19:40 EDT

// During lab about scientific tools
*Dr. Pathak picks up evaporating dish*
Dr. Pathak: Um.. I'm not really sure what this is... it just seems to be some kind of bowl thing.

Notes: [admin note:] I would try a more arcane word... like "mortar."

Tags: biology lab pathak
#1584 Up↑ +82/94 Down↓ [Report] 2010-12-21 11:24 EST

// Simon has a fencing match he needs to leave class early for
Class: Where'd Simon go? Why does he get to leave class early?
Dr. Pathak: Oh, he uh, has some sort of sword fighting thing.

Tags: biology pathak
#683 Up↑ +70/80 Down↓ [Report] 2009-09-22 15:51 EDT

// The college office is having presentations during social studies classes
Mr. Polazzo: It's a long way from here to the lecture halls, so I wouldn't be surprised if some of you got lost on the way down there...
Mr. Polazzo: Just saying.

Tags: polazzo
#251 Up↑ +70/80 Down↓ [Report] 2008-12-08 15:37 EST

// Physics: Mr. Dreyfus is doing a homework review. Some students in the back are discussing large finite sets. Mr. Dreyfus hears them.
Mr. Dreyfus: YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS VERY LARGE AND FINITE?!
*class turns their heads towards Mr. Dreyfus*
*long pause*
Mr. Dreyfus (softly): The... fact... that this class... is going to be quiet now.

Tags: dreyfus large.finite.sets physics
#2014 Up↑ +35/39 Down↓ [Report] 2011-09-29 11:08 EDT

// Two students are sharing a calculator during a test.
Dr. Majewski: No, no! No sharing! We are not Communist country!
Dr. Majewski: We don't share wives, and we don't share calculators!

Tags: majewski
#1673 Up↑ +58/66 Down↓ [Report] 2011-02-03 23:56 EST

// Ms. Hall is auditioning one of her freshman classes for chorus
*Kid is being distracting*
Ms Hall: What are you? Chopped liver?
// A few minutes later
*Kid distracts the person auditioning*
Ms. Hall: So you're chopped liver AND a wise guy?
// Ms. Hall auditions the kid who is being annoying
Ms. Hall: I hate to say it ... but I might consider taking you.

Tags: chorus hall
#1654 Up↑ +58/66 Down↓ [Report] 2011-01-24 23:18 EST

// David makes the 80th allusion to penises this week.
Ms. Breslin: I try not to make inferences into the sexual preferences of my students but sometimes they make so many comments in class... and in their papers...
Milo: She just called you gay!

Tags: ap.english.metaphysics david.sugarman gay

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Top Quotes

#1870 Up↑ +71/81 Down↓ [Report] 2011-05-01 04:12 EDT

#1590 Up↑ +71/81 Down↓ [Report] 2010-12-22 22:00 EST

#1265 Up↑ +71/81 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-12 22:27 EDT

#1655 Up↑ +71/81 Down↓ [Report] 2011-01-25 00:10 EST

#1918 Up↑ +59/67 Down↓ [Report] 2011-05-16 12:25 EDT

#132 Up↑ +106/122 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-13 18:58 EDT

#1516 Up↑ +47/53 Down↓ [Report] 2010-11-16 21:30 EST

#1022 Up↑ +47/53 Down↓ [Report] 2010-02-07 00:56 EST

#86 Up↑ +94/108 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-26 19:40 EDT

#1584 Up↑ +82/94 Down↓ [Report] 2010-12-21 11:24 EST

#683 Up↑ +70/80 Down↓ [Report] 2009-09-22 15:51 EDT

#251 Up↑ +70/80 Down↓ [Report] 2008-12-08 15:37 EST

#2014 Up↑ +35/39 Down↓ [Report] 2011-09-29 11:08 EDT

#1673 Up↑ +58/66 Down↓ [Report] 2011-02-03 23:56 EST

#1654 Up↑ +58/66 Down↓ [Report] 2011-01-24 23:18 EST