Top Quotes
-
#1196 Up↑ /66 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-01 22:09 EDT
Dr. Pilloff: *puts one drop of food coloring in a beaker of water*
Dr. Pilloff: Here's one drop. What color is it?
Class: Green.
Dr. Pilloff: If I add one more drop, what color is it?
*awkward pause*
Class: ...more green?
Dr. Pilloff: Right, more green.
Student: *whispers* That's a color? -
#966 Up↑ /66 Down↓ [Report] 2010-01-18 15:11 EST
Student: Mr. Boericke is having us watch Capitalism, A Love Story for an extra credit project.
Student: But it's not in theaters anymore and it hasn't come out on DVD yet, so we have to torrent an illegal bootlegged version of the film.
Student: So now we're sticking it to the man in two ways. -
#1023 Up↑ /167 Down↓ [Report] 2010-02-07 01:54 EST
Mr. Teitel: Okay, so the incoming freshmen of next year are coming for open house on Wednesday. As the freshmen of this year, do you think that there was anything important that I left out during YOUR open house?
Student: NO HOT GIRLS!!!
Mr. Teitel: ... I'll dismiss every boy except for him later and I'll just walk out. Girls, you can do whatever you want.
*assembly continues*
Male Student: NO HOT GUYS!!!!
Mr. Teitel: ... I have nothing to say to that. -
#33 Up↑ /268 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 17:52 EDT
Mr. Lostal: Probability is like kicking a cow. There are different outcomes. You can kick a cow and it will fight back. You can kick a cow and it will not care. You can kick a cow and it will run away. Or, you can kick it and it will go MOOOO, because she LIKES it!
-
#720 Up↑ /99 Down↓ [Report] 2009-10-04 20:46 EDT
// Ms. Hall has lost her voice. Someone outside has just screamed "PENIS!"
Ms. Hall: *mouths words and someone is translating* I wish I could respond. This happened last year, didn't it?
*chorus nods*
Ms. Hall: But sadly, I can't.
Ms. Hall: What kind of a person shouts that across the street?
Ms. Hall: Why are guys so fascinated with themselves?
