Top Quotes
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#1499 Up↑ /69 Down↓ [Report] 2010-11-05 19:59 EDT
Ms. Silverio: My oldest daughter once wanted a pet. So I had another child.
Ms. Silverio: Then SHE wanted a pet. So I had another child.
Ms. Silverio: When that third child wanted a pet, I was tired of giving birth already so I told him to go to my oldest daughter and ask her for a pet.
Ms. Silverio: Ah... I love my children.
Ms. Silverio: [mutters] Sometimes. -
#454 Up↑ /156 Down↓ [Report] 2009-03-19 22:44 EDT
// Orchestra class
Mr. Tamosaitis: Raise your hand if you are in tune.
*Students who are not really paying attention raise their hands*
Mr. Tamosaitis: Raise your hand if you are ready to play.
*Hands go up*
Mr. Tamosaitis: Raise your hand if you are now or have ever been a member of the Communist Party of America.
*Students don't listen but all raise their hands anyway* -
#769 Up↑ /103 Down↓ [Report] 2009-10-22 18:33 EDT
Mr. Polazzo: Did you guys know that most of the helium for the world comes from a single cave in the midwest?
Mr. Polazzo: That must have been the most embarrassing discovery.
Mr. Polazzo (in a deep, manly voice): Hey look...
Mr. Polazzo (in a high, squeeky voice): ...there's a ton of helium! -
#1217 Up↑ /85 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-05 19:22 EDT
// Student 1 passes a note to Student 2
Student 1: Read it out loud.
Student 2: I'm not going to read that.
Mr. Majewski: What this, guys? What are you doing?
// Mr. Majewski takes the note
Mr. Majewski (reading aloud): You look like Mike Hunt.
Mr. Majewski: Who is Mike Hunt? -
#186 Up↑ /171 Down↓ [Report] 2008-11-01 16:05 EDT
// Fire alarm goes off
Mr. Teitel (over PA): Please ignore the bells.
// A few minutes later
Ms. Damesek (over PA): Will Mr. Tillman please come down to room 103.
Mr. Boericke: Mr Tillman really shouldn't be out pulling fire alarms. He's a grown man, after all.
