Top Quotes
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#518 Up↑ /82 Down↓ [Report] 2009-04-30 15:59 EDT
// Mr. Dibbs has an orange hooked up to a volt-meter and is impersonating its voice
Mr. Dibbs: It's not working. Somethings wrong.
Orange: Why isn't it working, Mr. Dibbs?
Mr. Dibbs: It needs more metal, we need to stick more metal in it.
// Mr. Dibbs pulls out a long metal stick and prepares to jam it into the orange
Orange: Noo! No!
Mr. Dibbs: IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, DAMMIT!
Orange: NOOO! -
#1013 Up↑ /97 Down↓ [Report] 2010-02-03 16:17 EST
Mr. Majewski: Oh, I have a joke about friction, everybody. A cat joke!
Mr. Majewski: There are two cats, on top of a roof! One of the cats, it starts sliding. And the other, it stays the same.
Mr. Majewski: Which of the cats stays on top of the roof?
Class: Which?
Mr. Majewski: The one with the bigger (high-pitched, like a cat) mu! -
#252 Up↑ /64 Down↓ [Report] 2008-12-08 19:37 EST
// Teacher was trying to play a DVD without the remote and was having trouble selecting some option
Student: It's touchscreen; you have to press the option on the screen!
*teacher actually does it, repeatedly*
Teacher: IT'S NOT WORKING! Here, you try! -
#1728 Up↑ /80 Down↓ [Report] 2011-02-17 19:10 EST
Student: Ever notice how random Mr. Waxman is? Just watch, in the next minute he'll go off on some unrelated tangent.
Mr. Waxman: ...anyway so Muslim politics can be tough. The Iranian government is pretty harsh.
*pause*
Mr. Waxman: But they have great picnics in Iran. They smoke tobacco, and, uh, other things out of these weird devices. I actually brought one of those back in my luggage. They held me up at immigrations, though, thought I was a drug dealer or something. Luckily I was able to bribe the security guards with some chocolate chip cookies.
Student: See what I mean?
