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Top Quotes

• #1437 Up↑ +52/56 Down↓ [Report] 2010-10-01 23:33 EDT

  // Dr. Utting is talking about how kids back in the day would put stink bombs under the teachers' desks.
  Student: Whoa, cool.
  Dr. Utting: Whoa cool?! You better not whoa cool under my desk, or else I'll whoa cool you out the window!

  Tags: ap.bio defenestration utting

• #1788 Up↑ +121/133 Down↓ [Report] 2011-03-14 21:50 EDT

  Dr. Utting: What was Mendel's first law?
  Student 1: Law of segregation.
  Dr. Utting: What established this law?
  Student 2: Plessy v. Ferguson.

  Tags: ap.bio utting

• #968 Up↑ +69/75 Down↓ [Report] 2010-01-19 20:09 EST

  // During the lab where we had to tie the end of something together
  Dr. Pilloff: Well if you're competent enough, you don't even need the string. I've done this lab so many times that I think I'm competent enough to tie this without the string.
  *tries for a minute or two*
  *pause*
  Dr. Pilloff: Okay I guess I'm not that competent.

  Tags: pilloff

• #554 Up↑ +69/75 Down↓ [Report] 2009-05-14 19:46 EDT

  Dr. Stern: We're going to get to the Sixties soon, my favorite decade. You see, I participated in everything that happened in the Sixties.

  Tags: sixties stern

• #148 Up↑ +292/324 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-16 21:01 EDT

  // During chorus sectionals, a random guy walks by the window outside
  Random guy: All y'all can suck my dick!
  Ms. Hall (out the window): Oh, you have one?
  Chorus: Oooohhhh.
  *cheers and applause*

  Tags: chorus hall

• #1262 Up↑ +68/74 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-12 21:00 EDT

  Mr. Kavanagh: You know if you pretend something after awhile it becomes real. So pretend something good. *Continues giving lecture*
  Student: So if I stuff my bra and pretend my boobs are big they’ll grow?

  Tags: kavanagh

• #795 Up↑ +51/55 Down↓ [Report] 2009-11-04 12:03 EST

  Teacher: Facebook is electronic heroin.

  Tags: facebook

• #719 Up↑ +102/112 Down↓ [Report] 2009-10-04 17:55 EDT

  History teacher: And Rule 3 is: Don't do anything to get me fired!
  Student: Can you give us an example of what you mean?
  History teacher: How much do you know about the missionary position?

  Tags: history sex

• #123 Up↑ +186/206 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-10 21:36 EDT

  Student: Hey, why are you late Senor Simon? Were you gelling your hair in the bathroom?
  Senor Simon: You spyin' on me, fool?

  Tags: simon spanish

• #803 Up↑ +135/149 Down↓ [Report] 2009-11-05 23:48 EST

  *Student sighs loudly*
  Mr. Francis: Hey. See all the oxygen in this room? It's mine. Not yours. Mine.

  Tags: francis

• #1222 Up↑ +101/111 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-06 21:07 EDT

  // After some kids laugh about something stupid.
  
  Ms. Shamazov: They need to rework that entrance exam.

  Tags: music.appreciation shamazov

• #1697 Up↑ +84/92 Down↓ [Report] 2011-02-08 23:32 EST

  // Mr. Francis' European Literature Class
  Student: But I think the question that should have been asked is why are we discussing this when there are people out there dying of cancer?

  Tags: english francis

• #1519 Up↑ +67/73 Down↓ [Report] 2010-11-18 17:21 EST

  Mr. Sandler: Everyone going on the college trip tomorrow, I've posted your homework due Monday already, so do it tonight. I don't want you all not doing your homework because you were busy getting drunk on the college trip. That's not a good excuse to not do your work.
  *pause*
  Mr. Sandler: Oh yeah, and don't get drunk on the college trip.

  Tags: ap.us.history sandler

• #945 Up↑ +67/73 Down↓ [Report] 2010-01-09 10:12 EST

  Mr. Schepard: When that many people are crowded around a laptop, you must be watching porn.
  *class laughs*
  Student: It's a webcam.
  Mr. Schepard: *Blinks twice*  No comment.

  Tags: laptop schepard

• #787 Up↑ +134/148 Down↓ [Report] 2009-10-28 22:48 EDT

  // Mr. Majewski is talking about why eating isn't allowed in his class
  Mr. Majewski: And then there's these rodents everywhere! All these rodents around the school! At first, I thought they were just freshmen!

  Tags: freshmen majewski physics

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