Quote Browser
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#518 Up↑ /82 Down↓ [Report] 2009-04-30 15:59 EDT
// Mr. Dibbs has an orange hooked up to a volt-meter and is impersonating its voice
Mr. Dibbs: It's not working. Somethings wrong.
Orange: Why isn't it working, Mr. Dibbs?
Mr. Dibbs: It needs more metal, we need to stick more metal in it.
// Mr. Dibbs pulls out a long metal stick and prepares to jam it into the orange
Orange: Noo! No!
Mr. Dibbs: IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, DAMMIT!
Orange: NOOO! -
#517 Up↑ /169 Down↓ [Report] 2009-04-30 15:49 EDT
// Mr. Dibbs brings in a lime and an orange for an experiment, and proceeds to impersonate their voices
Lime: You look different from me!
Orange: It's okay, let's be friends!
// Class laughs
Mr. Dibbs: At my old school it would've gone more like this–
Lime: You look different from me!
// Gunshot sound, Mr. Dibbs drops lime violently on desk -
#511 Up↑ /56 Down↓ [Report] 2009-04-23 18:00 EDT
// cSplash is a Saturday of math and science classes at the Courant Institute
Student: Do you want to go to CSplash with me?
Student 2: Are you kidding me, that thing's so stupid!
// Later
Student 2: You know how I said I didn't want to go to cSplash? Well now I want to go, because I found out it isn't a water park. -
#498 Up↑ /43 Down↓ [Report] 2009-04-06 20:03 EDT
// Mr. Citron describes how T-cells are activated
Mr. Citron: It's like if you pour soda on me and I turn into--
Guy: SUPERCITRON!
Mr. Citron: -- a pink flowergirl. OOIIILOOIALOIOILIIOAII!!! Or then, if you pour beer on me and I turn--
Guy: SUPERCITRON!
Mr. Citron: --into this big, burly Irish guy.
Other dude: Why they always gotta be Irish.
Mr. Citron: Okay, a guy from, um, Greenland. Nobody's from Greenland. There are like three people in Greenland.
Girl: Really?
Mr. Citron: Yes, that's what I heard. But anyway, do you get the concept? Soda, and I become a flowergirl, OIOOILOAIOLIOALOI, beer, RARRRRR tough guy.
Guy: NO! SUPERCITRON! NO! -
#494 Up↑ /59 Down↓ [Report] 2009-04-05 16:47 EDT
// During rehearsal, Ms. Hall catches a boy eating hard candy
Ms. Hall: Well, what are you waiting for? Solve the problem!
// She looks away for a second and then back
Ms. Hall: What did you do to it?
Student: Oh, I swallowed it.
Ms. Hall: You swallowed a piece of hard candy down your throat.
// She has a look of disbelief
Student: Yes, but I solved the problem! -
#487 Up↑ /62 Down↓ [Report] 2009-03-31 18:55 EDT
// Mr. Econome's class talking about liquor.
Mr. Econome: Alcohol makes you drunk by slowing down your thinking process and functions.
Student: Doesn't it get your organs drunk?
Mr. Econome: No, your liver and kidney don't have their arms around each other going... I love you man, I love you.
Student: Isn't that how you met your wife?
*Mr. Econome chuckles, class dies of laughter*
