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#1030 Up↑ /135 Down↓ [Report] 2010-02-09 18:06 EST
// Ms. Damesek has just announced no school the next day
Ms. Hall: What? All this time I've spent listening to her announcements, and the one I actually want to hear, I didn't get to hear? Are you serious?
Chorus: Serious.
Ms. Hall: And they announced public schools closing for a snow day ahead of time?
Ms. Hall: There must be a god. -
#1023 Up↑ /167 Down↓ [Report] 2010-02-07 01:54 EST
Mr. Teitel: Okay, so the incoming freshmen of next year are coming for open house on Wednesday. As the freshmen of this year, do you think that there was anything important that I left out during YOUR open house?
Student: NO HOT GIRLS!!!
Mr. Teitel: ... I'll dismiss every boy except for him later and I'll just walk out. Girls, you can do whatever you want.
*assembly continues*
Male Student: NO HOT GUYS!!!!
Mr. Teitel: ... I have nothing to say to that. -
#1021 Up↑ /141 Down↓ [Report] 2010-02-06 15:21 EST
// Ms. Suri has just finished explaining why Margaret Sanger had been arrested (for passing out pamphlets on sex education -- they termed it as pornography)
Student: Wait... is pornography illegal?
Ms. Suri: Back then it was.
Ms. Suri: Don't worry, you're safe. -
#1020 Up↑ /28 Down↓ [Report] 2010-02-06 11:39 EST
// Ms. Breslin telling her class about how she gave her turtle away
Ms. Breslin: They had a balcony...and I didn't
Ms. Breslin: So I'm not part of the Turtle and Tortoise Society of New York anymore
Student: Wait. It didn't fall?
*Ms. Breslin looks puzzled*
Student: Well you know, turtle...balcony...
Student: There was only one place that could go. -
#1019 Up↑ /100 Down↓ [Report] 2010-02-04 23:44 EST
// Mr. Realmuto tries to get the class to understand what engineers do.
Mr. Realmuto: What's the difference between an engineer, a musician and a theoretical physicist?
Student: An engineer makes things, a musician makes music...and a theoretical physicist makes...no money... -
#1018 Up↑ /115 Down↓ [Report] 2010-02-04 18:13 EST
// Last paragraph of Mr. Polazzo's "Course Overview for AP Comparative Government (HGXC)"
Mr. Polazzo: After the AP is over, we will study one more country as a group and then each of you will do a presentation on a country of your choosing. Then you will go to college, graduate, get a job, maybe get married and always think back to the halcyon days of high school when your potential seemed endless. Then you'll sigh and rush home to your screaming family that has no appreciaton for your daily sacrifices, etc, etc.
