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#150 Up↑ +73/81 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-17 14:32 EDT

Mr. Barbin: So one and a half plus one and a half is...
Student: Three, Mr. Barbin.
Mr. Barbin: I didn't go to Stuy, you know.

Tags: barbin phys.ed
#149 Up↑ +16/44 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-16 23:47 EDT

Dr. Utting: Don't you remember doing a similar enzymatic lab in freshman bio?
Class: Uhh...
Dr. Utting: Anything?
*silence*
Dr. Utting: Oh come on guys, that was three years ago! I'm 182 and I still remember things from years back!

Tags: ap.biology utting
#148 Up↑ +292/324 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-16 21:01 EDT

// During chorus sectionals, a random guy walks by the window outside
Random guy: All y'all can suck my dick!
Ms. Hall (out the window): Oh, you have one?
Chorus: Oooohhhh.
*cheers and applause*

Tags: chorus hall
#146 Up↑ +67/81 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-16 20:39 EDT

Dr. Li: A significant figure... is a figure that is significant.

Tags: chemistry li
#144 Up↑ +49/69 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-14 21:33 EDT

// Physics teacher is explaining a lab. A bunch of kids are standing behind him and all around him. Sharang touches him.
Physics teacher: Stop touching me! Are you gay?
Sharang: No Dr. Majewski, I have a girlfriend.
Physics teacher: Oh then you must be bio.

Tags: gay majewski physics
#143 Up↑ +109/119 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-14 20:14 EDT

Student: No, no estoy de Long Island.  Pero mi novia está de Long Island.
Sr. Simon: Por qué tienes una novia?
Student: Uh...
Sr. Simon: Por qué no tienes dos?!  Tres?!

Notes: Translation:
"No, I'm not from Long Island.  But my girlfriend is."
"Why do you have a girlfriend?"
"Uh..."
"Why don't you have two?!  Three?!"

Tags: simon spanish
#136 Up↑ +109/119 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-13 19:04 EDT

Mr. Nieves: Don't try to play me. You can't play a player.

Tags: nieves player
#133 Up↑ +53/71 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-13 18:59 EDT

Polazzo: And in quotes, write the name you would like me to call you. Except don't write your gang name, like "Killah" or something.

Tags: polazzo
#132 Up↑ +106/122 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-13 18:58 EDT

*Girl walks in halfway through class to get something*
Girl: I'm sorry, that's my scarf.
Polazzo: I'm sorry it's your scarf too, but it's not that bad looking. Hey, next time you should just leave it there, I could use a new scarf.
Girl: ...
Girl: Goodbye.
Polazzo: She won't be forgetting that scarf again.

Tags: ap.gov polazzo
#130 Up↑ +198/222 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-12 21:58 EDT

Dr. Li: Ranny, take clothes away. I want to see what behind clothes.

Notes: Ranny had his sweatshirt on the table.

Tags: chemistry li
#127 Up↑ +134/150 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-11 19:18 EDT

Sr. Simon: Que te gusta?
Student: Me gusta dormir.
Sr. Simon: No te gustan las chicas?
Student: No, no, no! Me gusta dormir con chicas.

Notes: Translation:
"What do you like?"
"I like sleeping"
"You don't like girls?
"I like to sleep with girls"

Tags: simon spanish
#126 Up↑ +16/52 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-11 19:08 EDT

Physics teacher: Now, we will talk about centripetal forces.
*puts up notes on the chalkboard*
Physics teacher: The curriculum used to have centrifugal forces too, but it is illegal now, and all the pages in the textbooks about it are gone.
Student: Why is it illegal?
Physics teacher: Because it is, in theory, not proven.
*students puzzled*
Physics teacher: It is like religion! Non-existent.

Tags: physics religion
#125 Up↑ +44/84 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-11 13:29 EDT

Jay: To not fall asleep in class, I spill water on my desk.
Jay: It makes me panic.

Tags: stuy
#124 Up↑ +180/200 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-11 13:29 EDT

Mr. Mott: Colonial times were cool. Well, for your people, not for my people.

Notes: Mr. Mott is African-American, in case you don't get the joke.

Tags: mott
#123 Up↑ +186/206 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-10 21:36 EDT

Student: Hey, why are you late Senor Simon? Were you gelling your hair in the bathroom?
Senor Simon: You spyin' on me, fool?

Tags: simon spanish

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#150 Up↑ +73/81 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-17 14:32 EDT

#149 Up↑ +16/44 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-16 23:47 EDT

#148 Up↑ +292/324 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-16 21:01 EDT

#146 Up↑ +67/81 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-16 20:39 EDT

#144 Up↑ +49/69 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-14 21:33 EDT

#143 Up↑ +109/119 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-14 20:14 EDT

#136 Up↑ +109/119 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-13 19:04 EDT

#133 Up↑ +53/71 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-13 18:59 EDT

#132 Up↑ +106/122 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-13 18:58 EDT

#130 Up↑ +198/222 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-12 21:58 EDT

#127 Up↑ +134/150 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-11 19:18 EDT

#126 Up↑ +16/52 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-11 19:08 EDT

#125 Up↑ +44/84 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-11 13:29 EDT

#124 Up↑ +180/200 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-11 13:29 EDT

#123 Up↑ +186/206 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-10 21:36 EDT