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#181 Up↑ +28/40 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-30 20:15 EDT

// What happens when there are no CPR dummies in lifeguarding class...
Guy: Dmitriy, get on the floor! We'll do you today.

Tags: lifeguarding
#179 Up↑ +162/180 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-28 23:17 EDT

Señor Simon: What does every party need, Mohammed?
Mohammed: Prostitutos!
Señor Simon: Whoa, MALE prostitutes?

Notes: in spanish, words ending in -o are usually masculine

Tags: prostitutes simon spanish
#177 Up↑ +42/62 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-27 21:46 EDT

Mr. Garfinkel: The AP is just the Regents on steroids.

Notes: Regents are statewide proficiency exams that set the bar just a liii-ttle too low.

Tags: ap.english garfinkel regents
#176 Up↑ +135/155 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-27 21:44 EDT

Young English teacher: Yeah, so it takes me about 10 minutes to walk from my apartment to the subway, and on the way there's this homeless guy on the corner who is always getting really angry at some invisible person. Then he disappeared for, like, two weeks, and I'm like, 'Oh, he must've died, that's so sad,' but then he came back and I was like, 'Okay, cool.'
Student: What does this have to do with The Odyssey?
Young English teacher: You guys really need to focus.

Notes: http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/012487.html

Tags: english euro.lit focusing hobo
#175 Up↑ +232/268 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-27 01:23 EDT

// Mr. Kavanagh takes out a penny from his pocket
*slams the penny on random kid's desk*
Mr. Kavanagh: WHOOP-DE-DOO. VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE I OFFER REAL CHANGE!
*class stays silent*
Mr. Kavanagh: Get it? Real change? Forget it, you guys are all idiots.

Tags: kavanagh
#173 Up↑ +28/60 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-25 20:48 EDT

Student 1: Are you feeling ok? You look down.
Student 2: My best friend died yesterday.
Student 1: I'm so sorry! That's terrible.
Student 2: Yeah, reformatting is a pain.

Tags: computers stuy
#169 Up↑ +115/135 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-25 11:37 EDT

Lostal: Coming to class without a pen is like coming to war without a weapon. You come to my class without a pen, you are going to hell.

Tags: hell lostal math war weapon
#168 Up↑ +50/64 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-25 11:30 EDT

// Function compositions: explaining (f o g)
Ms. McDermott: And then you put the f in the g spot—

Notes: (f o g)(x) = f(g(x))
[note from xow: Finnish > Functional languages > Other languages]

Tags: comp.sci functions mcdermott scheme
#166 Up↑ +23/29 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-23 12:39 EDT

// Discussion on women in the nineteenth century:
English teacher: Women were beginning to cause trouble, being the troublemakers that they are.

Tags: ap.english english
#164 Up↑ +68/82 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-23 12:38 EDT

Mr. Nieves: Anyone want to talk about their choice of book for the Regents essay?
Thiviya: I used Harry Potter.
Mr. Nieves: What? No. That was wrong. Anyone else?

Notes: Regents are the state-wide subject exams for NY students

Tags: ap.english english nieves
#162 Up↑ +13/53 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-23 12:36 EDT

Mr. Nieves: I like those shirts. It would be great if you could find a way to hook me up. My shirt size is an extra large.
Mr. Nieves: In the summer, it's a large, but in the winter it's an extra large. My massive shoulders grow in the winter.

Notes: nieves ap english... good times

Tags: ap.english english nieves
#161 Up↑ +113/127 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-23 12:21 EDT

Ms. Hall: You've got to sing romantically!
Ms. Hall: You're not cavemen hitting their women over the heads with clubs and dragging them into caves!
Baritone: Those were the days.

Notes: chorus is a party

Tags: chorus hall singing
#160 Up↑ +85/103 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-22 22:38 EDT

Mr. Francis: You don't need a window to windowshop, just like you don't need a car to drive me crazy!

Tags: english euro.lit francis marcela
#154 Up↑ +5/31 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-21 00:18 EDT

// Talking about elasticity and illegal drugs in AP Micro
Student: A study showed that the proportion of drug use is much higher in the U.S. than it is in the Netherlands, because drugs are legal there.
Ms. Schweitzer: A lot of things are legal in the Netherlands...

Tags: ap.micro economics schweitzer
#152 Up↑ −7/43 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-17 18:51 EDT

// Talking about the informal qualifications for becoming President
Mr. Polazzo: It was 1979 - I would be more funky for one thing.

Tags: ap.gov polazzo

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#181 Up↑ +28/40 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-30 20:15 EDT

#179 Up↑ +162/180 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-28 23:17 EDT

#177 Up↑ +42/62 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-27 21:46 EDT

#176 Up↑ +135/155 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-27 21:44 EDT

#175 Up↑ +232/268 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-27 01:23 EDT

#173 Up↑ +28/60 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-25 20:48 EDT

#169 Up↑ +115/135 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-25 11:37 EDT

#168 Up↑ +50/64 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-25 11:30 EDT

#166 Up↑ +23/29 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-23 12:39 EDT

#164 Up↑ +68/82 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-23 12:38 EDT

#162 Up↑ +13/53 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-23 12:36 EDT

#161 Up↑ +113/127 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-23 12:21 EDT

#160 Up↑ +85/103 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-22 22:38 EDT

#154 Up↑ +5/31 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-21 00:18 EDT

#152 Up↑ −7/43 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-17 18:51 EDT