Top Quotes
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#417 Up↑ /93 Down↓ [Report] 2009-02-26 17:51 EST
// Mr. Fisher tries really hard to make PHYSICAL EDUCATION seem like a real class
Mr. Fisher: One day, you kids are gonna be watching baseball on TV and you're gonna see some baseball player do a crowstep.
Mr. Fisher: And you're gonna be like, "that guy just did a crowstep!" and everybody'll look at you funny.
Mr. Fisher: They'll be like, "where'd you learn that?" and then you say, "AP Wiffleball." -
#788 Up↑ /64 Down↓ [Report] 2009-10-28 22:51 EDT
Mr. Majewski: I taught here for 11 years and I've found every time students come back from bathroom, they are more knowledgeable.
Class: Then why don't we all take our tests in the bathroom?
Mr. Majewski: Because then there'd be no variety! Everyone would get 100 and I like variety! -
#231 Up↑ /73 Down↓ [Report] 2008-11-25 16:53 EST
// Discussing torque in physics class.
Mr. Dreyfus: Who knows of a device that illustrates that the farther from the axis you apply the force, the higher the torque?
Student 1: A hammer!
Mr. Dreyfus: And how does that work?
Student 2: The longer you hammer, the more it hurts!
Student 3: That's what she said! -
#767 Up↑ /54 Down↓ [Report] 2009-10-22 00:12 EDT
// Mr. Polazzo is explaining the difference between sadism and schadenfreude.
Mr. Polazzo: Schadenfreude is more passive than sadism.
Mr. Polazzo: Schadenfreude is like, I just see the misfortune you are experiencing, and I sit back and drink my schnapps and say...
Mr. Polazzo (in evil voice): "Ha Ha Ha, you are experiencing pain and I am not." -
#627 Up↑ /63 Down↓ [Report] 2009-06-11 16:59 EDT
Mr. Kennedy: The only thing I ever practiced for in my life was basketball.
Mr. Kennedy: I really wanted to get on the basketball team, so I practiced and practiced, every day after school for a semester.
Mr. Kennedy: Finally, I went to try out. Now, I wasn't in the best shape, so I knew I was on the edge.
Mr. Kennedy: I knew that I had to do something really impressive right then and right there if I wanted to make the team.
Mr. Kennedy: I got the ball, and instead of passing, I knew the only way I could impress the coach was if I shot a three-pointer right then.
Mr. Kennedy: So I got into the best position I could and shot.
Student: Did you make it?
Mr. Kennedy: It didn't even go in the right direction.
// Mr. Kennedy then explained that he never practiced for anything ever again. -
#1187 Up↑ /35 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-01 21:36 EDT
Dr. Pilloff: How do you do a prostate exam?
Student: It's touchy feely.
Dr. Pilloff: Can you elaborate?
Student: UHHH...A doctor puts on a glove and...puts...two fingers in someone's anus...
Dr. Pilloff: *only somewhat satisfied* Well. I don't know if it's one finger or two fingers. -
#108 Up↑ /143 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-02 20:59 EDT
// Student doing Minutes
Mr. Mott: Why is it the same thing every day? There's nothing creative. Your Minutes is so mundane.
*Student pauses, then goes on with Minutes, then pauses again to look at Mr. Mott*
Mr. Mott: Do you know what mundane means?
*Student shakes head 'no'*
Mr. Mott: Your last relationship.
