Top Quotes
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#1632 Up↑ /100 Down↓ [Report] 2011-01-14 22:34 EST
// Students are explaining the holy day of Eid to Ms. Hall, when one of them bring up the sacrifice of sheep in some cultures.
Ms. Hall: So you're telling me all my Muslim students who are absent are at home sacrificing sheep?
// The class bursts out laughing
Ms. Hall: Well then they better bring me some lamb chops tomorrow. -
#111 Up↑ /100 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-05 22:28 EDT
Ms. Thoms: "It's" is a contraction, "its" isn't a contraction.
Ms. Thoms: It's like you have "it is" and you kill the "i" in "is".
Ms. Thoms: *takes chalk, violently colors out the i* DIE, DIE, DIE!
Ms. Thoms: See and now you turn the little dot over the "i" into an apostrophe and you have "it's". -
#351 Up↑ /69 Down↓ [Report] 2009-01-26 17:38 EST
Dr. Barrow: Qu'est-ce que tu vas faire aprés les examen finalement [What are you going to do after finals?]
Student: Je suis allé à la lune [I went to the moon]
Dr. Barrow: That's past tense! "After the finals" is the future!
Student: Well, yeah, but there's a time difference on the moon. -
#992 Up↑ /28 Down↓ [Report] 2010-01-27 22:21 EST
// Ms. Breslin informs the class on what NOT to write on your college essay
Ms. Breslin: I passed a test once in 8th grade! And everyone else failed!
Ms. Breslin: Ever since then, I have known that I am the best and I show up to school every day and KNOWLEDGE is shoveled like DIRT into the DUMP TRUCK OF MY MIND...
Ms. Breslin: And your college will be another brand name on my application! -
#631 Up↑ /67 Down↓ [Report] 2009-06-16 16:25 EDT
// Regents proctor sees a student come into her testing room
Regents Proctor: Hey, aren't you that kid who was smokin' yesterday? Oh, yeah, that's right, you're the one that flipped me the bird! Now I have yo' name and yo' ID numba and I can call up yo' parents...
Regents Proctor: Today is just my lucky day!
