Top Quotes
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#1279 Up↑ /22 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 20:46 EDT
// Ms. Breslin has the kind heart to sympathize with the students
*after a discussion about Transcendentalism, Ms. Breslin pauses and looks at the class*
Ms. Breslin: I'm going to stop for now. Because I think you'll fall over dead if I don't.
// The date for the class trip is discussed
Student: But the day after Friday is the SATs!
Ms. Breslin: You don't think it would be good for you to relax before the SATs??
Ms. Breslin: ...Plus! There are lots of words in the museum!
// A student complains that Whitman uses too many pages to express such a simple idea
Ms. Breslin: So he wrote all this stuff, like 100 pages, for nothing.
Ms. Breslin: Instead, he could have written... (in a monotonous voice) "When animals and humans die, the grass gets nutrients from these corpses."
Ms. Breslin: But now, we're just ALL BORED! -
#154 Up↑ /31 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-21 00:18 EDT
// Talking about elasticity and illegal drugs in AP Micro
Student: A study showed that the proportion of drug use is much higher in the U.S. than it is in the Netherlands, because drugs are legal there.
Ms. Schweitzer: A lot of things are legal in the Netherlands... -
#209 Up↑ /34 Down↓ [Report] 2008-11-17 00:06 EST
Boy: Why are you wearing a belt over your shirt?
Girl: I don't know. I like the way it looks.
Boy: Belts are supposed to hold your pants up. It can't hold anything up if it's over your shirt.
Girl: It's fashion, okay?! My god!
Boy: ...
Boy: I hope your pants fall down! -
#619 Up↑ /56 Down↓ [Report] 2009-06-09 16:33 EDT
// Relativity jokes
Student 1: A man walks into a bar. Or, from the man's frame of reference, the bar walks into him. Either way he says "ouch," but at a slightly higher pitch in his frame of reference.
Student 2: Why did the road cross the chicken?
Student 3: Yo mama's so fat she has to run at .99c to fit in a size 2. -
#1316 Up↑ /120 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-19 19:45 EDT
// Chemistry class, Regents Review
Jay: You should write "Chem is #1" on the board. Seriously. I promise Mr. Geller won't come.
Orlando: Oh, is this like Bloody Mary? You write "Chem is #1", say it three times, close the lights, and Mr. Geller will be behind you with a red pen.
...
// Orlando left the room during passing to scan practice tests
Jay: Let's put that theory to the test.
*Jay proceeds to write "CHEM IS #1" on the blackboard*
