Top Quotes
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#244 Up↑ /26 Down↓ [Report] 2008-12-03 22:41 EST
Dr. Akintunde: Can anyone guess what is hemoglobinuria?
*Dr. A writes it on the board*
Dr. Akintunde: What is hemoglobin? What is -uria?
Girl: Hemoglobin in urine?
Dr. Akintunde: Yes, and the urine appears red. Can anyone guess what is hematuria?
Boy: Hemoglobin in turd? -
#1119 Up↑ /29 Down↓ [Report] 2010-04-09 23:14 EDT
// Dr. Pilloff tells the class about plants.
Dr. Pilloff: Almost like the incredible hulk, the cotyledon bursts out of the brown sheath!
Dr. Pilloff: When you ingest a sunflower seed, you're definitely ingesting live cells.
Student: Murder.
Dr. Pilloff: Yeah, but who cares? They're plants!
// Dr. Pilloff makes an analogy about the xylem and phloem of plants
Dr. Pilloff: Like you guys have up escalators and down escalators.
Dr. Pilloff: ...I guess teachers have up elevators and...well...elevators go up and down... -
#758 Up↑ /56 Down↓ [Report] 2009-10-21 18:40 EDT
// Mr. Majewski is telling a joke
Mr. Majewski: So there is mental hospital, guys.
Mr. Majewski: And in this mental hospital, everybody tell joke.
Mr. Majewski: But it is mental hospital, so they forget they tell joke, and they tell same joke over and over.
Mr. Majewski: So one day, they decide they will give a number to each joke, and instead of tell joke, they tell number!
Mr. Majewski: So one of them says "EIGHTY-FIVE! EIGHTY-FIVE, GUYS!" and everybody laugh.
Mr. Majewski: And one says "TWENTY-EIGHT! TWENTY-EIGHT!" and everybody laugh.
Mr. Majewski: And one says "FIFTY-FOUR!" and nobody laugh. Do you know why?
Class: Why?
Mr. Majewski: Because it was a joke about a mental hospital! -
#1275 Up↑ /32 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 20:23 EDT
Ms. Breslin: How many people know Helen Keller, Miracle Worker?
*Very few hands are raised*
Ms. Breslin: How many people know the story?
*A few more hands are raised*
Ms. Breslin: *looks around, disappointed* ...How many people are about to make a Helen Keller joke? -
#2037 Up↑ /18 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-14 14:25 EDT
Mr. Lostal: Probability is like a human flashlight in a juniverse of darkness (turns off lights). Now, let me demonstrate...ehhh, does anyone have a flashlight?
Student #1: I have my phone
Mr. Lostal: ok, that will have to do (takes phone). Now observe class, I will teach ju probability in a way ju will neverrrr foget (flails hands around with phone). Ju see, in probability, we study outcomes of events...I will chow ju example of this (takes a chair). This chair is a cow. Let us get some activity going with the cow. Watch wa happens when I kick the cow (kicks the chair). Ju see, there are several possible outcomes of wa can happen with the cow. It can fall over, it can moo, it can move across the room. Can you think of any other possible outcomes when we get activity going with the cow?
Student #2: satisfaction -
#271 Up↑ /44 Down↓ [Report] 2008-12-12 21:23 EST
// Systems. The class is discussing semaphores
Mr. Zamansky: Does anyone know what a semaphore is in a non-computer science context?
*class stares blankly*
Mr. Zamansky: You know, the flag-signal thingy...
*makes flag-signaling motions*
Tala: Is that for blind people?
