Quote Browser
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#623 Up↑ /48 Down↓ [Report] 2009-06-10 19:44 EDT
// English class. The class is discussing genocide.
Student: They did a study that shows that a person can really only ever relate to up to about 200 people, "friends" you might call them. And so someone suffering in Darfur is outside those 200, and it's hard to relate to them.
Teacher: What worries me about that study are the implications for Facebook. -
#619 Up↑ /56 Down↓ [Report] 2009-06-09 16:33 EDT
// Relativity jokes
Student 1: A man walks into a bar. Or, from the man's frame of reference, the bar walks into him. Either way he says "ouch," but at a slightly higher pitch in his frame of reference.
Student 2: Why did the road cross the chicken?
Student 3: Yo mama's so fat she has to run at .99c to fit in a size 2. -
#612 Up↑ /67 Down↓ [Report] 2009-06-01 19:35 EDT
Mr. Dreyfus: I probably shouldn't tell you this story, because it involves me being rebellious, but oh well. When I was taking physics, there was a problem involving a meterstick, and one of the students asked "how long is the meterstick?" To which the teacher responded "who is buried in Grant's tomb?"
And the student was puzzled. So I answered. But you know how I did it?
"Your mom."
*class applauds* -
#592 Up↑ /141 Down↓ [Report] 2009-05-26 16:28 EDT
// Mr. Boericke is explaining GDP to the class
Mr. Boericke: Actually, back when I used to teach tennis...
Student: Is there anything you haven't done?
Mr. Boericke: Well...
Student: Have you ever killed an endangered animal?
Mr. Boericke: Are alligators endangered?
