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#1272 Up↑ /60 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 00:30 EDT
*Student holds up University of Pennsylvania flier*
Student: What do you think of this prestigious school?
Mr. Esper: Prestigious? Pff. Everyone gets accepted there.
Student: Ohh. You know I'm going there next year.
Mr. Esper: Case in point!
Class: Oooooooohh! -
#1271 Up↑ /72 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 00:24 EDT
Mr. Orlando: So if you take away one thing from this course, I hope it's this...
Mr. Orlando: When you're at a high school party and some kid offers you wine, you can say, "Ewww, that's yeast poo, yeast burps, and yeast corpses. I don't want to drink that!"
Mr. Orlando: And the kid will say, "You know what? You're right!" and dump it out.
Mr. Orlando: And that's fermentation. YAY! -
#1270 Up↑ /162 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-12 23:51 EDT
// Mr. Mott often walks in during Realmuto's class
*Mr. Mott walks in holding a baby*
Class: Awwww!
*Mr. Mott leaves and reappears a few minutes later with a young girl*
Student 1: ...where does he keep getting all these kids?!
Student 2: ...I want to know what happened to the baby. -
#1268 Up↑ /44 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-12 23:29 EDT
// Dr. Pilloff shows his disappointment in the class' ability to do math during lab
Dr. Pilloff: Guys, I'm seeing like you guys demonstrate the counting ability of...lower primates...
Dr. Pilloff: Some of you have 8 parts and 1 part on the tray and unable to make the connection that the 1 part is the 9th part.
Dr. Pilloff: ...even...even squirrels can count.
*class laughs*
Dr. Pilloff: Soner, why are *you* laughing? -
#1267 Up↑ /90 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-12 23:26 EDT
// Pilloff "familiarizes" the class with various objects during the fruit lab
Dr. Pilloff: *holds up a pinecone* This is a pinecone.
Dr. Pilloff: *holds up another object and shakes it, making a rattling noise* I'm not sure what this is.
Dr. Pilloff: *picks up a spiky object* ...I'm not sure what this is either. -
#1263 Up↑ /53 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-12 21:37 EDT
// Organic chemistry
Dr. Li: There are lotsa groups that are same in a structural formula. Like there are students with same name.
Dr. Li: If I had 2 David Lees, 1 would be called David Lee-1 and David Lee-2.
Dr. Li: That is why you name groups Ethyl-1 and Ethyl-2. -
#1261 Up↑ /287 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-12 20:57 EDT
// In Mr. Kavanagh’s Class
Student 1: Why is it even called geometry?
Mr. Kavanagh: Because an acorn grew up and said geometry.
Student 2: I think he’s finally lost it.
Student 1: I still don’t get it.
Mr. Kavanagh: You know Gee-I’m-A-Tree? Get it? Forget it, you’re all idiots. -
#1259 Up↑ /52 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-12 20:08 EDT
// Ms. Bernstein is discussing a painting
Bernstein: So you guys notice how the two lovers are about to fall off the cliff, right? But they pay no attention to it because they're so in love.
Student: It looks like her neck is snapped.
Bernstein: But they're SO IN LOVE! If her head fell off, it wouldn't even matter and everything would be okay because they're so in love!
Student: That's considered necrophilia...
*Ms. Bernstein and the class erupt in laughter*
