Quote Browser
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#1289 Up↑ /220 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-15 13:22 EDT
Student: So...if we finish the lab, we'll actually find the amino acid sequence for Botana Curus, thus finding the cure for cancer?
Pathak: If you were actually, like, listening to what I've been saying for the last 45 minutes, you would, uh, know that this lab is fake by now. -
#1282 Up↑ /22 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 21:01 EDT
// Mr. Donin has just explained that he will be showing History related movies after school on certain days, which can be attended for credit
Mr. Donin: The only problem is uh. Boy's Lacrosse. But they're not making it to the playoffs anyway!
Mr. Donin: They're as good as mucus!
Student: They're not THAT bad!
Mr. Donin: Okay, sorry, good as vomit! -
#1281 Up↑ /59 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 20:58 EDT
// Mr. Donin warns the minorities in the class about going to colleges "looking for diversity"
Mr. Donin: But if you're Asian? If you're brown? And you're a guy looking for a girl to date?
Mr. Donin: There's like...nobody!
Mr. Donin: And the ultimate cracker school?!
*writes on the board T R I N I T Y "
Mr. Donin: When Friday night, Saturday night comes around...looking for one of your own to hang out with? It's a sea of...
Mr. Donin: *points to Caucasian student* HIM! -
#1280 Up↑ /30 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 20:54 EDT
// Ms. Breslin on "standard essay writing"
// A student questions the overuse of ellipses in Walt Whitman's work
Ms. Breslin: How can it be that Walk Whitman does not use MLA style?? DISASTER!
Ms. Breslin: Remember, you can use your own style, but we don't want to sit here like "BROS BEFORE HOES"
Student: What do they mean by "literary merit"?
Ms. Breslin: Well, this means no Harry Potter
*class groans*
Ms. Breslin: *reluctantly* which also means...no Twilight.
*class cheers* -
#1279 Up↑ /22 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 20:46 EDT
// Ms. Breslin has the kind heart to sympathize with the students
*after a discussion about Transcendentalism, Ms. Breslin pauses and looks at the class*
Ms. Breslin: I'm going to stop for now. Because I think you'll fall over dead if I don't.
// The date for the class trip is discussed
Student: But the day after Friday is the SATs!
Ms. Breslin: You don't think it would be good for you to relax before the SATs??
Ms. Breslin: ...Plus! There are lots of words in the museum!
// A student complains that Whitman uses too many pages to express such a simple idea
Ms. Breslin: So he wrote all this stuff, like 100 pages, for nothing.
Ms. Breslin: Instead, he could have written... (in a monotonous voice) "When animals and humans die, the grass gets nutrients from these corpses."
Ms. Breslin: But now, we're just ALL BORED! -
#1278 Up↑ /168 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 20:43 EDT
// A student, scared, points out a cockroach in Ms. Feldman's class to Ms. Feldman. Ms. Feldman proceeds to TALK to the cockroach.
Ms. Feldman: NO NO! YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF!
Ms. Feldman: No, don't follow me!
Ms. Feldman: Go out the window!
Ms. Feldman: Save yourself! SAVE YOURSELF!!!!! -
#1276 Up↑ /18 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 20:26 EDT
// After an explanation of Freemasons in class and the supposed "hidden signs"
Ms. Breslin: I personally think the Freemasons are more like a college fraternity
Ms. Breslin: *pause* but everyone is freaked out because of the EYEBALL on the dollar bill. -
#1275 Up↑ /32 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-13 20:23 EDT
Ms. Breslin: How many people know Helen Keller, Miracle Worker?
*Very few hands are raised*
Ms. Breslin: How many people know the story?
*A few more hands are raised*
Ms. Breslin: *looks around, disappointed* ...How many people are about to make a Helen Keller joke?
