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#1316 Up↑ /120 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-19 19:45 EDT
// Chemistry class, Regents Review
Jay: You should write "Chem is #1" on the board. Seriously. I promise Mr. Geller won't come.
Orlando: Oh, is this like Bloody Mary? You write "Chem is #1", say it three times, close the lights, and Mr. Geller will be behind you with a red pen.
...
// Orlando left the room during passing to scan practice tests
Jay: Let's put that theory to the test.
*Jay proceeds to write "CHEM IS #1" on the blackboard* -
#1314 Up↑ /236 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-19 17:00 EDT
// Student answers a question
Mr. Akhmedov: No, that's wrong
Student: What? That's what you told us yesterday
Mr. Akhmedov: Well, you shouldn't believe everything people tell you.
Student: But you're our TEACHER. You're not supposed to lie. You're supposed to tell the truth!
Mr. Akhmedov: That wasn't a part of the job description. -
#1306 Up↑ /58 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-16 12:10 EDT
// Talking about the Jersey Shore in econ
Mr. Boericke: My mother's first boyfriend was from the Jersey Shore. He was a lifeguard named Sharkey and he could open beer bottles with his toes.
Mr. Boericke: Then one day there was a hurricane and Sharkey went down to the beach to save the lifeguard chair.
Mr. Boericke: He was never heard from again.
Class: *silence* -
#1305 Up↑ /72 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-16 12:07 EDT
// Talking about corruption in Nigeria
Mr. Polazzo: 306 billion dollars were siphoned off. That's a lot of money.
Mr. Polazzo: Imagine what 310 billion dollars looks like...then subtract 4 billion. That's what 306 billion looks like.
Mr. Polazzo: I suppose that isn't too clear...Imagine Mike Bloomberg...
*pause*
Mr. Polazzo: HA! You thought I was going to say Mike Bloomberg's money.
Mr. Polazzo: Now multiply that Mike Bloomberg by 306 billion. -
#1293 Up↑ /66 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-15 13:41 EDT
// Student has a reputation of saying "that's what she said"
Ms. Oberfield: If you're having trouble with Shakespeare's language, feel free to use a dictionary.
Student: I have a really big dictionary. It's like three inches thick.
Ms. Oberfield: ...are you trying to get me to say "that's what she said"?
Class: Not at all! Gosh, you're sick.
Ms. Oberfield: *blushes* You walked right into it!
