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Top Quotes

• #169 Up↑ +115/135 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-25 11:37 EDT

  Lostal: Coming to class without a pen is like coming to war without a weapon. You come to my class without a pen, you are going to hell.

  Tags: hell lostal math war weapon

• #372 Up↑ +73/85 Down↓ [Report] 2009-02-09 16:39 EST

  Ms. Feldman: That's just another one of those decisions nobody can make.
  Ms. Feldman: Like "would you kill two dogs to cure cancer?"

  Tags: cancer dogs feldman

• #784 Up↑ +104/122 Down↓ [Report] 2009-10-27 20:46 EDT

  Dr. Chen: Who you have last year?
  Student: I had Lostal, that's why I don't get anything.
  Dr. Chen: Oh.

  Tags: chen lostal precalculus

• #5 Up↑ +176/208 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-21 16:22 EDT

  // Multi-variate calculus
  Student: Isn't .9π + .18π = .27π?
  Dr. Chen: WHO TEACH YOU MATH?
  Dr. Chen: YOU CANNOT ADD?
  Dr. Chen: THIS SIMPLE ARITHMETIC!

  Notes: How to speak like Dr. Chen:
  1) shout everything
  2) don't pluralize anything
  3) don't use articles
  4) verb conjugation? YOU MAKE JOKE!

  Tags: chen math

• #1925 Up↑ +31/35 Down↓ [Report] 2011-05-22 12:56 EDT

  // Class is talking
  Mr. Akhmedov: CÁLLATE!
  Student: *still talking*
  Mr. Akhmedov: MUCHACHOO!!!

  Tags: akhmedov physics

• #881 Up↑ +62/72 Down↓ [Report] 2009-12-07 11:49 EST

  // Confronted with a problem in Systems Programming
  John Connuck: Well, using the knowledge that we know, we could-
  Mr. D-W: I'd like to see you do it with the knowledge you don't know.

  Tags: comp.sci dyrland-weaver john.connuck systems

• #89 Up↑ +113/133 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-26 23:06 EDT

  Mr. Teitel: Well, the first time I went to Europe...
  Student: Wait, was that during the Renaissance or the French Revolution?

  Tags: age physics teitel

• #190 Up↑ +92/108 Down↓ [Report] 2008-11-03 22:20 EST

  Mr. Kavanagh: Jeffrey, you want to say something?
  *no response*
  Mr. Kavanagh: If you were funny, you'd say "something".

  Tags: calc.apps kavanagh

• #1724 Up↑ +51/59 Down↓ [Report] 2011-02-17 16:54 EST

  Student: Is it possible for someone not to have rods in their eyes?
  Dr. Pathak: Well... it's possible in the same way that anything is possible.

  Tags: pathak

• #1674 Up↑ +51/59 Down↓ [Report] 2011-02-04 11:53 EST

  // Dr. Chen is teaching in a different room from that of last semester. There is a separate table pushed against the teacher's desk.
  Dr. Chen: *stares at the extra table* Why is this here? What you need this table for? Now is too big!
  Dr. Chen: *circles the table* This is a computer table!
  Dr. Chen: They steal this table! *inspects table* Yes, I am definitely sure they steal this table!

  Tags: chen differential.equations table

• #1208 Up↑ +51/59 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-03 17:11 EDT

  Student: Mr. Schepard, can I go get my review book?
  Mr. Schepard:  Well, I'm not supposed to let you out of the room for anything except medical emergencies. Do you have to go to the bathroom?
  Student: Sure.

  Tags: schepard

• #622 Up↑ +51/59 Down↓ [Report] 2009-06-09 16:42 EDT

  // Comp Gov presentations.  Korea is presenting, to be followed by Japan
  Student: Then, Korea was invaded and conquered by Japan.
  Mr. Polazzo: If you're not careful with the time it's going to happen again.

  Tags: comp.gov japan korea polazzo

• #68 Up↑ +81/95 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-25 19:12 EDT

  Student: Me gusta su camisa, pero... can I say this in English?
  Mr. Simon: Sure.
  Student: You look like a fruit.

  Notes: "Me gusta su camisa, pero..." = "I like your shirt, but..."

  Tags: simon spanish

• #206 Up↑ +161/191 Down↓ [Report] 2008-11-16 20:11 EST

  // Spanish Class
  Sr. Simon: What would you do if you were the principal?
  Student: I... I would have sex with all the female teachers.
  Sr. Simon: EVEN DR. BARROW?!

  Tags: barrow simon spanish

• #1913 Up↑ +40/46 Down↓ [Report] 2011-05-12 18:56 EDT

  Ms. Hall: You people are too involved with this bad technology. Instead of reading a book you go on your computers and twit and twat about what you had for breakfast or when you last went to the bathroom!
  Ms. Hall: The worst part is that people actually read this stuff!

  Tags: hall

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