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Top Quotes

• #1292 Up↑ +135/147 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-15 13:36 EDT

  Akhmedov: How long does it take you guys to blow dry your hair?
  Girl: I don't know. Like, five minutes?
  Akhmedov: What?! It takes me at least fifteen minutes.
  Boy: That's why you look so good!

  Tags: akhmedov physics

• #1531 Up↑ +96/104 Down↓ [Report] 2010-12-01 00:11 EST

  // Late note
  Dear Ms. Mazzurco
  I was not aware that David was missing your class to work on this essay with me.
  Please blame him and not me,
  Megan

  Tags: breslin david.sugarman late mazzurco note

• #832 Up↑ +96/104 Down↓ [Report] 2009-11-17 15:25 EST

  // Referring to colonial times
  Mr. Polazzo: Who are the minorities?
  *Student raises hand, with serious expression on face*
  Student: Mexicans

  Tags: ap.gov mexicans polazzo

• #352 Up↑ +96/104 Down↓ [Report] 2009-01-27 21:42 EST

  // Learning about head lice in Human Diseases class
  Mr. Citron: And does anyone here actually share combs and hairbrushes with people? Because that's not sanitary!
  Student: Well, what if we share them with like, our parents?
  Mr. Citron: Let me tell you something. Your parents are disease vessels. Treat them accordingly.

  Tags: biology citron human.diseases

• #1501 Up↑ +115/125 Down↓ [Report] 2010-11-07 07:29 EST

  // Student doesn't understand a political cartoon
  Ms. Olivi: Pretend it's anime.

  Tags: ap.world olivi

• #917 Up↑ +115/125 Down↓ [Report] 2009-12-24 13:12 EST

  // Planning a party in A.P. Government
  Mr. Polazzo: Everything is better deep fried! In fact, we should only bring fried foods for the party.
  Mr. Polazzo: We could have a frier by the door, and fry any unfried foods people bring.
  Mr. Polazzo: And if you don't bring any food, we will fry you. And you will taste good.

  Tags: ap.gov food polazzo

• #2046 Up↑ +38/40 Down↓ [Report] 2011-10-18 23:26 EDT

  Ms. Plafker: Don't ever quote me on that website.
  Ms. Plafker: I can't use the same jokes again if you do that.

  Tags: american.studies plafker

• #1964 Up↑ +38/40 Down↓ [Report] 2011-06-13 22:26 EDT

  Student: So there is a particular episode of Fringe and there is a guy named Milo who is super smart because he took all these drugs...
  *Looks at Milo Beckman*

  Tags: drugs metaphysics milo.beckman smart

• #1738 Up↑ +38/40 Down↓ [Report] 2011-03-01 17:48 EST

  // While working with coordinate geometry
  Student: So, what does a plot in three dimensions look like?
  Mr. Kavanagh: It's called space. You live in it.

  Tags: kavanagh

• #1123 Up↑ +76/82 Down↓ [Report] 2010-04-09 23:22 EDT

  // Dr. Chen explains Calculus to his Precalculus class
  Dr. Chen: CALCULUS IS THIS!
  Dr. Chen: ZERO TIMES INFINITY. ZERO DIVIDED BY ZERO. INFINITY OVER INFINITY.
  Dr. Chen: YOU GET NOW?!

  Tags: calculus chen infinity precalculus zero

• #1032 Up↑ +38/40 Down↓ [Report] 2010-02-09 22:15 EST

  // The class is trying to make sense of a poem
  Ms. Breslin: "The inward eye which is the bliss of solitude"
  Ms. Breslin: What does that mean?...IS HE DEFORMED?!

  Tags: ap.english.metaphysics breslin deformed eye inward

• #706 Up↑ +95/103 Down↓ [Report] 2009-09-26 21:33 EDT

  // Student is meeting with Mr. Grossman, Mr. Weil, and Mr. Henderson in the English office to discuss a problem
  Student: I really want to talk to some adults in the school about this.
  Teachers (in unison): And we're the best you've got? That's sad!

  Tags: english grossman henderson weil

• #835 Up↑ +113/123 Down↓ [Report] 2009-11-17 19:39 EST

  Dr. Majewski: Who will do first question?
  Student: Dr. Majewski you didn't teach the lesson.
  Dr. Majewski: Oh. Yes, yes. The lesson.

  Tags: majewski physics

• #1243 Up↑ +150/164 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-11 20:49 EDT

  Mr. Tillman: Please, I have a limo take me to school every day.
  Student: You mean the subway?
  Mr Tillman: Hey. If it's long, goes fast, has lots of windows, it's a limo.

  Tags: subway tillman

• #701 Up↑ +75/81 Down↓ [Report] 2009-09-25 14:22 EDT

  // A student arrives late for Mr. Majewski's class
  Mr. Majewski: You were late yesterday and today both!  Why are you always late?
  Mr. Majewski: You will be late to your wedding!  You will even be late to your funeral!

  Tags: lateness majewski

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