Top Quotes
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#1259 Up↑ /52 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-12 20:08 EDT
// Ms. Bernstein is discussing a painting
Bernstein: So you guys notice how the two lovers are about to fall off the cliff, right? But they pay no attention to it because they're so in love.
Student: It looks like her neck is snapped.
Bernstein: But they're SO IN LOVE! If her head fell off, it wouldn't even matter and everything would be okay because they're so in love!
Student: That's considered necrophilia...
*Ms. Bernstein and the class erupt in laughter* -
#126 Up↑ /52 Down↓ [Report] 2008-10-11 19:08 EDT
Physics teacher: Now, we will talk about centripetal forces.
*puts up notes on the chalkboard*
Physics teacher: The curriculum used to have centrifugal forces too, but it is illegal now, and all the pages in the textbooks about it are gone.
Student: Why is it illegal?
Physics teacher: Because it is, in theory, not proven.
*students puzzled*
Physics teacher: It is like religion! Non-existent. -
#498 Up↑ /43 Down↓ [Report] 2009-04-06 20:03 EDT
// Mr. Citron describes how T-cells are activated
Mr. Citron: It's like if you pour soda on me and I turn into--
Guy: SUPERCITRON!
Mr. Citron: -- a pink flowergirl. OOIIILOOIALOIOILIIOAII!!! Or then, if you pour beer on me and I turn--
Guy: SUPERCITRON!
Mr. Citron: --into this big, burly Irish guy.
Other dude: Why they always gotta be Irish.
Mr. Citron: Okay, a guy from, um, Greenland. Nobody's from Greenland. There are like three people in Greenland.
Girl: Really?
Mr. Citron: Yes, that's what I heard. But anyway, do you get the concept? Soda, and I become a flowergirl, OIOOILOAIOLIOALOI, beer, RARRRRR tough guy.
Guy: NO! SUPERCITRON! NO! -
#830 Up↑ /40 Down↓ [Report] 2009-11-16 22:21 EST
// About types of resistive forces, i.e. solid in liquid, solid in gas, etc.
Student: What's an example of solid on solid?
Dr. Esper: A box on the floor...
Dr. Esper: You on the floor...
Dr. Esper: You on the floor when somebody grabs you and drags you around... -
#373 Up↑ /37 Down↓ [Report] 2009-02-09 20:46 EST
// Only at Stuy.
Ms. Rubin: What do we do now?
Guy: Find the area under the curve?
Ms. Rubin: And what do we use?
Guy: Uh... what?
Ms. Rubin: Come on, think r. The r word. You have to understand this, with your text messaging.
Guy: Riemann sums?
Ms. Rubin: Uh, no, the other r word. Yes?
Other person: Rectangles?
Ms. Rubin: Yes, RECTANGLES. That r word. -
#1338 Up↑ /47 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-25 19:44 EDT
// During band rehearsal, Dr. Wheeler notices there are some percussion parts that aren't being played
Dr. Wheeler: Okay, there are eight percussion players and three parts being unplayed. Who's supposed to play to cymbal?
*No one responds*
Dr. Wheeler: Oh, come on guys! How could you be so CYMBAL MINDED?!
*Class laughs sarcastically*
