Quote Browser
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#417 Up↑ /93 Down↓ [Report] 2009-02-26 17:51 EST
// Mr. Fisher tries really hard to make PHYSICAL EDUCATION seem like a real class
Mr. Fisher: One day, you kids are gonna be watching baseball on TV and you're gonna see some baseball player do a crowstep.
Mr. Fisher: And you're gonna be like, "that guy just did a crowstep!" and everybody'll look at you funny.
Mr. Fisher: They'll be like, "where'd you learn that?" and then you say, "AP Wiffleball." -
#416 Up↑ /41 Down↓ [Report] 2009-02-26 17:48 EST
// Mr. Donin gives out extra credit in the form of "plus marks" to students he thinks deserve them
Student: Well, I think it was arbitrary and random for the US to send military forces into Mexico.
Mr. Donin: Forces! Plus mark for using Star Wars terminology!
Student: It's not enough reason to send in troops just because Pancho Villa and some other rebels were doing stuff.
Mr. Donin: Rebels! Two plus marks! -
#406 Up↑ /91 Down↓ [Report] 2009-02-16 18:37 EST
// Football
Coach: When you're out in the field, you gotta play like a team. Coordinate yourselves like a team. Like you're painting a huge mural with the word STUYVESANT. You gotta outline the word, paint in the S, the T, the R-
Player: Coach, there's no R in Stuyvesant.
Coach: ...Fucking smart kids. -
#394 Up↑ /92 Down↓ [Report] 2009-02-14 23:14 EST
// Dr. Pathak, in an email to students about online homework assignments
Many of you are not answering the short answer question correctly. You should write about what a reflex arc does. You should know to do this because if you read the question, you'll see that it asks, "What does a reflex arc do?" -
#386 Up↑ /68 Down↓ [Report] 2009-02-11 20:46 EST
// After listening comprehension
Dr. Barrow: So what did that sentence say?
Student: J'ai pris une bouche. [I took a mouth]
Dr. Barrow: No! It was J'ai pris une douche! [I took a shower]
Student: I'm pretty sure it said bouche.
Dr. Barrow: No! Douche, douche, douche, douche, douche!! -
#382 Up↑ /74 Down↓ [Report] 2009-02-11 17:06 EST
// Mr. Donin reads role call on the first day of classes, assigning nicknames as he goes.
Mr. Donin: Zachary! Z-Pack! Z-100!
Mr. Donin: David Hsu! The square root of two!
Mr. Donin: Gleb! Phlegm! Like *cough* *snort*!
Mr. Donin: Xavier! Xenon!
Mr. Donin: John Simon! He's a bad man!
Mr. Donin: The Fabulous Ryan Fisher!
Mr. Donin: Lana! The Dalai Lama! *bows*
Mr. Donin: Boy, do we have a class! -
#380 Up↑ /38 Down↓ [Report] 2009-02-11 17:00 EST
Mr. Fisher: Girls, if you come to my class wearing shirts with plunging necklines, you're unprepared.
Mr. Fisher: Boys, if you come to my class wearing polos, you're unprepared.
Mr. Fisher: Girls and boys in the 60s, if you come to my class without your hair up, you're unprepared. -
#373 Up↑ /37 Down↓ [Report] 2009-02-09 20:46 EST
// Only at Stuy.
Ms. Rubin: What do we do now?
Guy: Find the area under the curve?
Ms. Rubin: And what do we use?
Guy: Uh... what?
Ms. Rubin: Come on, think r. The r word. You have to understand this, with your text messaging.
Guy: Riemann sums?
Ms. Rubin: Uh, no, the other r word. Yes?
Other person: Rectangles?
Ms. Rubin: Yes, RECTANGLES. That r word.
