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#699 Up↑ /90 Down↓ [Report] 2009-09-24 20:49 EDT
*Student walks to window, opens it, and sits down next to it*
Mr. Majewski: What are you doing? Go back to your seat!
Student: But Mr. Majewski, can I just take my test here? It's hot!
Mr. Majewski: No, no, I know your tricks. You have someone on the street and he's flashing you signals to cheat on the test! -
#698 Up↑ /206 Down↓ [Report] 2009-09-24 20:47 EDT
Student: Mr. Majewski, what happens if you fail the Regents?
Mr. Majewski: No one ever failed the Regents! Except this one kid who was all over the news! Reporters from ABC interviewed him and asked him "Daniel, why did you fail the Regents?" and Daniel said "Not to worry, I will become an astronaut and land on the sun!" and the reporters said "How are you going to land on the sun? The sun is very hot," and Daniel once again said "Not to worry, I will land at night!" -
#697 Up↑ /54 Down↓ [Report] 2009-09-24 16:42 EDT
Mr. Majewski: You should not leave anything in your locker.
Mr. Majewski: Once I had student who, he would watch as people open their locker and memorize their combination.
Mr. Majewski: He steal all kinds of thing, leather jacket, gold watch.
Student: And... you didn't turn him in?
Mr. Majewski: I think what happen is he stole so much he had no more to steal so he leave Stuyvesant. -
#695 Up↑ /32 Down↓ [Report] 2009-09-24 16:39 EDT
Student 1 (referencing equation on board for spontaneous velocity): Mr. Majewski, what's a limit?
Mr. Majewski: Limit, it is like goal. Like maybe you have elementary school, and middle school, and high school, and college, and then maybe graduate school is your limit.
Student 2: That's... not exactly right. -
#619 Up↑ /56 Down↓ [Report] 2009-06-09 16:33 EDT
// Relativity jokes
Student 1: A man walks into a bar. Or, from the man's frame of reference, the bar walks into him. Either way he says "ouch," but at a slightly higher pitch in his frame of reference.
Student 2: Why did the road cross the chicken?
Student 3: Yo mama's so fat she has to run at .99c to fit in a size 2. -
#612 Up↑ /67 Down↓ [Report] 2009-06-01 19:35 EDT
Mr. Dreyfus: I probably shouldn't tell you this story, because it involves me being rebellious, but oh well. When I was taking physics, there was a problem involving a meterstick, and one of the students asked "how long is the meterstick?" To which the teacher responded "who is buried in Grant's tomb?"
And the student was puzzled. So I answered. But you know how I did it?
"Your mom."
*class applauds*
