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#433 Up↑ /73 Down↓ [Report] 2009-03-10 17:09 EDT
Mr. Dibbs: Ugh, English is the worst. It's all about opinion. That stuff would never work with chemistry.
Mr. Dibbs: "What does this equation really mean?" "What is Dalton actually trying to say?"
Mr. Dibbs: I mean, if you don't know what they're trying to say after 2000 pages of reading, what's the point of reading it? -
#427 Up↑ /135 Down↓ [Report] 2009-03-05 16:43 EST
// Mr. Dibbs is going over last term's final, which was written by Ms. Arora.
Mr. Dibbs: So the answer to number 6 is C.
Student 1: Shouldn't it be D?
Mr. Dibbs: Oh wait, you're right, it's D.
Student 2: Mr. Dibbs, did you pass this final?
Mr. Dibbs: Yeah, I got a 76. -
#426 Up↑ /190 Down↓ [Report] 2009-03-05 16:41 EST
// Mr. Dibbs is doing equilibrium demonstration involving solutions of varying color
Mr. Dibbs: This red test tube, when placed in hot water will become more red, but when placed in cold water will become purple.
Student: That isn't red, that's brown.
Mr. Dibbs: Red, brown, same thing. You kids and your different colors. Back in my day, you'd get crayon boxes with just the three primary colors. Now you've got those boxes of 150,000 crayon colors - Upstate New York Green! Electric Ruby! Montana Sunset, 5 PM!
Mr. Dibbs: And why do they need so many blues? You've got navy blue, sky blue, cerulean blue, periwinkle blue, azure, midnight blue... and what the hell is up with baby blue? Am I the only one who thinks of a still-born when I hear baby blue?
Mr. Dibbs: Speaking of which, why are all the colors so cheerful? What about cadaver green? Funerial purple? Rigor mortis red?
// After experiment
Mr. Dibbs: Okay, class, so what color is the test tube?
Class: Purple.
Mr. Dibbs: No, it's midnight fuchsia. -
#295 Up↑ /77 Down↓ [Report] 2008-12-20 13:49 EST
// Chemistry teacher is getting fed up with a student who hasn't answered any questions right.
Chemistry teacher: You know that show? Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? We should play Are You Smarter Than This Kid.
Chemistry teacher: We pick the stupidest kid in the class and ask questions to contestants, and the kid will realize how stupid they are.
Student: That's horrible!
Chemistry teacher: No, it's great! The kid is suddenly rejected by society, and becomes a total loner.
Chemistry teacher: He spends his time secluded from everybody else, just reading. And that's how he makes his way in the world.
Chemistry teacher: If we don't tell them they're retarded, they'll never be able to make up for it and be successful!
Chemistry teacher: You see, that's what I do with my kids.
