Search Results
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#1193 Up↑ /133 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-01 22:00 EDT
// Dr. Pilloff accuses the class of copying the lab answers
Dr. Pilloff: A lot of these answers are the same, word for word.
Dr. Pilloff: I don't know if you copied off the web or each other...
Dr. Pilloff: The fact that they make no sense suggests you copied off each other. -
#1192 Up↑ /29 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-01 21:57 EDT
// Trying to have the class make the connection between the Lunar cycle and the menstrual cycle
Dr. Pilloff: What happens during a full moon?
Class: WEREWOLVES!
// After explaining that it may be due to the extra lighting by the full moon
Student: Well then, in an eclipse, shouldn't menstruation be effected?
Dr. Pilloff: But that's only for a few minutes
Student: What about cloudy days? Do cloudy days effect menstruation? -
#1191 Up↑ /29 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-01 21:56 EDT
// After trying to explain what an IUD is
Dr. Pilloff: I hope I'm not taking a big risk by Googling "intrauterine device"...
// Explaining a condom...through another analogy
Dr. Pilloff: You know, they're like bottle caps, the ones with codes on the inside for free...uh...
Dr. Pilloff: ...uh. Like, free text messages or something. -
#1188 Up↑ /32 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-01 21:43 EDT
// Dr. Pilloff explains cloning with the example of sheep
Dr. Pilloff: So you get a white sheep's diploid cell... *draws a "sheep" on the board*
Student: *mutters* OH, it can't be a BLACK sheep, it has to be WHITE.
Dr. Pilloff: And then you take out the white sheep DNA...
Dr. Pilloff: And you have a black sheep and take the egg cell from the black sheep...*draws another "sheep" on the board*
Dr. Pilloff: And then you throw out the black DNA... -
#1187 Up↑ /35 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-01 21:36 EDT
Dr. Pilloff: How do you do a prostate exam?
Student: It's touchy feely.
Dr. Pilloff: Can you elaborate?
Student: UHHH...A doctor puts on a glove and...puts...two fingers in someone's anus...
Dr. Pilloff: *only somewhat satisfied* Well. I don't know if it's one finger or two fingers. -
#1186 Up↑ /33 Down↓ [Report] 2010-05-01 21:34 EDT
// Dr. Pilloff consults the class on testicles and The Simpsons
Dr. Pilloff: *pointing to diagram* I know some people eat testicles, so I guess if you cut a cow testicle in half, you'd see this.
Dr. Pilloff: And I don't know which testicles people eat, but in one episode Homer Simpson went out west and shot a buffalo and ate its testicles? Is that right?
// A week later
Dr. Pilloff: We discussed how some people eat animal testicles?
Dr. Pilloff: Well everyone should be eating plant ovaries.
Dr. Pilloff: Because it's very healthy. -
#1120 Up↑ /43 Down↓ [Report] 2010-04-09 23:16 EDT
// Dr. Pilloff tries to prove to the class that 2^n = e^x
Student: Can you prove it?
Dr. Pilloff: Yeah, I wouldn't give you something to prove that I can't.
*a few minutes later, after a few failures in proving it*
Dr. Pilloff: ...Well. The process isn't that important!
Dr. Pilloff: I used to be very strong in math. -
#1119 Up↑ /29 Down↓ [Report] 2010-04-09 23:14 EDT
// Dr. Pilloff tells the class about plants.
Dr. Pilloff: Almost like the incredible hulk, the cotyledon bursts out of the brown sheath!
Dr. Pilloff: When you ingest a sunflower seed, you're definitely ingesting live cells.
Student: Murder.
Dr. Pilloff: Yeah, but who cares? They're plants!
// Dr. Pilloff makes an analogy about the xylem and phloem of plants
Dr. Pilloff: Like you guys have up escalators and down escalators.
Dr. Pilloff: ...I guess teachers have up elevators and...well...elevators go up and down... -
#1117 Up↑ /50 Down↓ [Report] 2010-04-09 23:07 EDT
Dr. Pilloff: Does anyone know why I never order tuna sushi?
Student: In the process of getting tuna, dolphins are sometimes killed.
Dr. Pilloff: Uh. No, that's not it. I mean, that might happen, but sometimes a few dolphins need to die for you to get your meal. I think it's acceptable. -
#893 Up↑ /55 Down↓ [Report] 2009-12-14 20:45 EST
// Dr. Pilloff is trying to explain the circulatory system
Dr. Pilloff: So when you get cut, it's always your veins that get cut. If you cut an artery, then you die.
Student: But isn't the blood in your veins blue? Why is your blood red when you bleed?
Dr. Pilloff: It reacts with the oxygen in the air.
Class: Ohhhh.
Dr. Pilloff: But what you could do is go into a room with no oxygen, hold your breath and cut yourself. Then your blood would come out blue.
