Student: No, no estoy de Long Island. Pero mi novia está de Long Island.
Sr. Simon: Por qué tienes una novia?
Student: Uh...
Sr. Simon: Por qué no tienes dos?! Tres?!
// The class has just watched a documentary about a group of Mexican immigrants
Student: Why did they have to take tortillas to eat? Couldn't they have taken nutrient bars?
// So why did Mr. Niglio leave anyways...?
Student in library: Did you hear that Niglio was forced to retire? He made up his own tense! And he decided to teach it the day that Ms. Ubieta came in to check his class!
Dr. Niglio: We're going to start the oral portion of the regents soon.
Student: Ooh! I'm good at oral!
*class erupts in laughter*
Student: No wait! I'm BAD at oral! Really bad!
// On oral exams
Dr. Niglio: You're not allowed to watch someone else's oral.
Dr. Niglio: I hope you don't come up here and expect me to put the thing in your mouth.
Kid: Cual es el animal mas dulce?
Mr. Simon: OK... what does that mean?
Kid: Um... what animal is more chocolatey?
Mr. Simon: More chocolatey?! Are you eating animals? What the hell?
Mr. Simon: How's your vision?
Helen: I'd like a window seat.
Mr. Simon: There's a seat in the corner... wait, why do you need a window seat?
Helen: I get carsick.
Mr. Simon: ...what?
