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#518 Up↑ /82 Down↓ [Report] 2009-04-30 15:59 EDT
// Mr. Dibbs has an orange hooked up to a volt-meter and is impersonating its voice
Mr. Dibbs: It's not working. Somethings wrong.
Orange: Why isn't it working, Mr. Dibbs?
Mr. Dibbs: It needs more metal, we need to stick more metal in it.
// Mr. Dibbs pulls out a long metal stick and prepares to jam it into the orange
Orange: Noo! No!
Mr. Dibbs: IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, DAMMIT!
Orange: NOOO! -
#517 Up↑ /169 Down↓ [Report] 2009-04-30 15:49 EDT
// Mr. Dibbs brings in a lime and an orange for an experiment, and proceeds to impersonate their voices
Lime: You look different from me!
Orange: It's okay, let's be friends!
// Class laughs
Mr. Dibbs: At my old school it would've gone more like this–
Lime: You look different from me!
// Gunshot sound, Mr. Dibbs drops lime violently on desk -
#433 Up↑ /73 Down↓ [Report] 2009-03-10 17:09 EDT
Mr. Dibbs: Ugh, English is the worst. It's all about opinion. That stuff would never work with chemistry.
Mr. Dibbs: "What does this equation really mean?" "What is Dalton actually trying to say?"
Mr. Dibbs: I mean, if you don't know what they're trying to say after 2000 pages of reading, what's the point of reading it? -
#427 Up↑ /135 Down↓ [Report] 2009-03-05 16:43 EST
// Mr. Dibbs is going over last term's final, which was written by Ms. Arora.
Mr. Dibbs: So the answer to number 6 is C.
Student 1: Shouldn't it be D?
Mr. Dibbs: Oh wait, you're right, it's D.
Student 2: Mr. Dibbs, did you pass this final?
Mr. Dibbs: Yeah, I got a 76. -
#426 Up↑ /190 Down↓ [Report] 2009-03-05 16:41 EST
// Mr. Dibbs is doing equilibrium demonstration involving solutions of varying color
Mr. Dibbs: This red test tube, when placed in hot water will become more red, but when placed in cold water will become purple.
Student: That isn't red, that's brown.
Mr. Dibbs: Red, brown, same thing. You kids and your different colors. Back in my day, you'd get crayon boxes with just the three primary colors. Now you've got those boxes of 150,000 crayon colors - Upstate New York Green! Electric Ruby! Montana Sunset, 5 PM!
Mr. Dibbs: And why do they need so many blues? You've got navy blue, sky blue, cerulean blue, periwinkle blue, azure, midnight blue... and what the hell is up with baby blue? Am I the only one who thinks of a still-born when I hear baby blue?
Mr. Dibbs: Speaking of which, why are all the colors so cheerful? What about cadaver green? Funerial purple? Rigor mortis red?
// After experiment
Mr. Dibbs: Okay, class, so what color is the test tube?
Class: Purple.
Mr. Dibbs: No, it's midnight fuchsia.
