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#50 Up↑ +3/65 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 21:51 EDT

Mr. Majewski: You need physics like a fish needs water.

Tags: majewski physics
#47 Up↑ +11/35 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 21:48 EDT

Me: I have this diagram of the snake anatomy here.
(Dr. Gastel looks at it, notices the larynx)
Dr. Gastel: Holy shit! I didn't even know you could see the larynx in a snake!

Tags: biology gastel vertebrate.zoology
#44 Up↑ +107/119 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 21:36 EDT

Mr. Badgley: Gluteus maximus? Doesn't that mean big ass?

Tags: badgley global history
#43 Up↑ +28/40 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 20:58 EDT

Dr. Niglio: You're talking apples and oranges when I'm talking bananas.

Tags: niglio spanish
#42 Up↑ +74/90 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 20:56 EDT

// On oral exams
Dr. Niglio: You're not allowed to watch someone else's oral.
Dr. Niglio: I hope you don't come up here and expect me to put the thing in your mouth.

Tags: niglio spanish test
#41 Up↑ +18/44 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 20:53 EDT

Mr. Majewski: Guys, stop whistling! You! Quintero, you are the whistling creature!

Tags: majewski physics
#40 Up↑ +56/62 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 20:48 EDT

Mr. Simon: Hey! You! Biscocho de fruta! [Fruitcake!]

Tags: simon spanish
#37 Up↑ +46/68 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 17:19 EDT

Mr. Gastel: Wow! You guys did very well on this last test. Your class average was really high!
Class (thinking): Hell yeah! Excellent!
Mr. Gastel: A 65! I haven't seen an average this high in years!

Tags: average gastel test
#36 Up↑ +36/54 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 23:41 EDT

// Student asks for credit on question where he assumed "none of the above" was choice E, but it was really choice D
Teacher: I really should punish you for mild retardation.

Tags: test
#35 Up↑ +77/95 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 22:37 EDT

// Outside Stuy during lunch where the Gideons are handing out pocket New Testament Bibles.
Gideon: Do you believe in God?
Sophomore: Only when I want something.

Tags: gideon god religion
#34 Up↑ +73/83 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 18:01 EDT

// Student walks through the door a minute after the late bell
Mr. Lostal: DISGRACE! DISGRACE! You hide from me!

Tags: lostal
#33 Up↑ +238/268 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 17:52 EDT

Mr. Lostal: Probability is like kicking a cow. There are different outcomes. You can kick a cow and it will fight back. You can kick a cow and it will not care. You can kick a cow and it will run away. Or, you can kick it and it will go MOOOO, because she LIKES it!

Tags: lostal math probability
#32 Up↑ +47/75 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 17:49 EDT

Mr. Majewski: Some smart kid once brought in his iPod and used his electronics kit to make music. Now, iPods are illegal, but Ms. Damesek came in once and didn't confiscate it. Apparently, when you take legal and you hook it up to illegal, you get legal.

Tags: electronics majewski
#31 Up↑ +23/45 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 00:14 EDT

// Mr. Ku mumbles something under his breath
Student: What?
Mr. Ku: What? That's what people in the Bronx say!

Notes: From the Ku-isms Facebook group

Tags: bronx ku
#30 Up↑ +137/159 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 00:11 EDT

Mr. Ku: I will tell your mother you no learning. And if she no understand English, I'll tell her in Chinese!

Tags: chinese ku math

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#50 Up↑ +3/65 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 21:51 EDT

#47 Up↑ +11/35 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 21:48 EDT

#44 Up↑ +107/119 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 21:36 EDT

#43 Up↑ +28/40 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 20:58 EDT

#42 Up↑ +74/90 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 20:56 EDT

#41 Up↑ +18/44 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 20:53 EDT

#40 Up↑ +56/62 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 20:48 EDT

#37 Up↑ +46/68 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-24 17:19 EDT

#36 Up↑ +36/54 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 23:41 EDT

#35 Up↑ +77/95 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 22:37 EDT

#34 Up↑ +73/83 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 18:01 EDT

#33 Up↑ +238/268 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 17:52 EDT

#32 Up↑ +47/75 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 17:49 EDT

#31 Up↑ +23/45 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 00:14 EDT

#30 Up↑ +137/159 Down↓ [Report] 2008-09-23 00:11 EDT